Life Issues & Leaving the Pram

You don't have to look far to notice what a stressed out lives we lead. No wonder we prefer to hide out in some addiction or to just stay in the pram with our beads.... Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht

Solving problems means being willing to have a good look & then to make changes. So where does all this stress originate? Some believe it is all about work. Others stick the blame on relationships or financial matters. For others, all would be well if the kids grew up & left home. All of these beliefs are correct, simply because they are believed, but they aren't the whole answer. Stress is accumulated throughout the day, even on a good day. It travels along with us, reaching out & touching every part of life & experience, attaching to every relationship & desired goal. A close look finds it connected to addictions, child & spousal abuse & a whole lot more. And yes, .....did I mention.....it can kill you.

If this is the case, then is there any hope for a decent quality of life & survival even if stress is high? Yes indeed, for well managed stress is connected to enhanced health, self-image, self-esteem, healthy relationships, prosperity, creativity & all of the good things of life. Now who wouldn't want that?

GET ME THE GOOD LIFE

Every client who visits my office or who attends a workshop wants to be saved from something. This is what I heard over & over again. "Oh what I wouldn't give for a fresh start!" Well, the good news is that fresh starts are available to us in each & every moment. While most of us don't need quite so many, they are there if we need them & there is no reason, whatsoever, not to take advantage of these wonderful opportunities.

In the practice of Interactive Self-Hypnosis we work with planting new beliefs, as well as active imagery that programs the subconscious mind for change. While some of this work appears simple on the surface, it is anything but that. I explain it to my clients like this. Suppose you were driving a car & saw something in the middle of the road. If you just move the steering wheel a half turn to the right, you won't hit it. If you don't turn the wheel, you will hit it. So is the half turn a small thing?

Here are some simple, but powerful new beliefs that help to change directions & outcomes. When practicing with simple affirmations such as these, relax deeply & see them on your mind screen.

I am always free to choose to stop doing what I am doing.

I am always free to choose to break old habits & patterns.

I am always free to chose to change anything & everything.

I am the writer, the producer & the director of my life.

BEGINNING SELF-EXPLORATION

If you truly want to manage stress at high levels & get the good things of life, you have to not only be willing to work at it, but you truly need to want it........that's called "hot desire."

Let's explore this a bit. Since all we have to do is to have the desire & then to act on our desire, why do many of us tend to ignore this gigantic opportunity? Why don't we turn the wheel of the care?

Take just a moment & let that question settle in your own subconscious mind. When you are ready, I'll give you some additional insights, but please don't rush your own personal work. As you begin to work with your own inner self, you will find that more answers coming to your own mind that will be very specific for you.

Here are some things I've noticed. Perhaps you have noticed them as well.

Most of us have excuses living on our tongues & for those of us who are tired of the excuse-life, it is often difficult to decide what to do instead of what we are doing & then how to actually begin.

We think about starting tomorrow, but tomorrow comes & goes & we find ourselves in the same old place.

We might wake up with good intentions, but then "life interrupts us" & despite our intentions, we fall back into old emotional patterns, beliefs, activities, choices, as if these were the only place to go.

Before we know it, we are at the end of the day & still "window shopping" in our mind, desiring things that we simply cannot grasp or for some reason , cannot hold on to for long, if at all.

And so, we tend to live in the land of good intentions & excuses, spending incredible energy on defending ourselves, our positions of inactivity or perceived failure & blaming others for stepping on our toes & our dreams. Most of this constitutes garbage.

Basically, we are all the same. We all have histories & baggage, desires & dreams. If you read or work with my programs, you will be doing many things differently from now on. Some of those things will be obvious & other's not so obvious. You will be consciously aware of some changes, but other changes will simply happen, as if they had a life of their own. You will find yourself replacing old emotional patterns, beliefs, activities & choices. Much of this will be effortless. You will no longer just window shop in life. You will actively choose what you want & act in accordance to make it yours.

I ask you to work with a Journal & a 3 ring binder. You can certainly download this blog or other areas on my websites that are designed for my clients & students. Remember all of my material is copyrighted & so you cannot reproduce it, but certainly you can copy this for you own benefit. Go through each part & highlight areas that speak out to you.

I'll be showing you how to work with these parts through a self-hypnotic tool called automatic writing. This will allow you to explore areas that interest you with your own subconscious mind inner coach. I'll also be providing you with self-development work based on different chapters of my books & also be suggesting CD/Audio programs that can assist you in working quicker & at higher levels, should you choose to do that.

I'll often introduce you to clients of mine & invite you to look over my shoulder as we work together to turn the wheel of the car.

MEET DONNA

I'm 38 years old & work in television production with a major network. I am over-weight & completely stressed out. I bite my nails & pull at my hair when I'm nervous. I've tried artificial nails, but I pick those off as well & so I spend quite a bit of energy hiding my hands as they are a true embarrassment to me, especially in my profession. Why can't I stop this? I know that I drink too much coffee, have a terrible diet & on weekends I find myself drinking too much.

I've thought about this & think it is because I'm trying to fit in all of my fun & relaxation on the weekend. I do feel entitled to this because I don't have a minute to myself during the week. I am married & have two school-age children who are already over-extended in activities, making my life even worse because of time constraints, but what's a Mom to do?

Here is the frightening part. I truly don't feel well physically. I'm fatigued just about all the time & have frequent headaches. I truly do not remember the last time I felt well. I had a medical check-up & the doctor told me that I am fine. I am not fine & not even near to fine. This frightens me even more than having a diagnosis of something. Is that strange or what? I went to counseling & found it useless because, despite everything, I'm a fairly happy & successful person. I have a good marriage & two great children. I'm just not well.

I don't know how to start or where to start. I'm like a "messy desk" that I don't seem to have time to straighten out because people, including myself, keep putting more things on it. I'm truly frightened that I will die from all of this stress & yet I can't seem to motivate myself out of this. My doctor offered me medications & I turned them down. I truly don't think that they will solve any of this. I see this as something I absolutely must do myself. I have many other aspects of myself to share, but don't know what it is that you need to know from me. Just know that I'm ready.

GET ME HOT DESIRE

As I look at Donna, it seems to me that her body is burning out from not getting what it needs. I'm impressed that despite being so busy & fatigued at the same time, she is willing to go right ahead with this work. This says MUCH about her & tells me that SHE WILL experience success, if her desire is "gut-felt" which I believe it is. Sometimes we need to truly get sick & tired before we are willing to become seriously involved with our own rehabilitation & self-growth.

This is usually my first important assessment factor when meeting a new patient/client in my office. I want to see & sense the desire. I want to sense if they want me to do the work OR if they are wanting to do the work themselves. In my experience, those who have HOT desire & truly want to do their own work, despite any & all obstacles, will be huge winners.

Those that are not willing usually have very different outcomes. So it is important for everyone working with me, assess themselves in their desire & in their willingness to do their own work & to do so consistently. This is not a magic fix, but true self-development work. It is like training for an Olympic Medal, only this is for winning your life back & keeping yourself out of trouble medically & emotionally.

Be sure to check out the entire archives for thoughtWARE. The link is in the right hand column. thoughtWARE is a series of books & CD programs written in Interactive Self-Hypnosis that will be ready for publication in the near future.